Why Christians should talk like a pirate #tlapd

Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day, and the more I think about it, as despicable as most pirates may be, perhaps we can learn something from them.

All too often, the church (and when I say “the church,” I mean, “Christians as a whole,” not a building) acts like the pirate’s mortal enemy, the ninja. We operate under stealth, meeting in secret (or might as well be in secret, as most people just don’t get up early on Sundays), and few people know our secret, since at best, we might wear a cross necklace, or we think that being nice to people will convey the Gospel inherently without actually mentioning Jesus as the motivation behind our actions. We certainly don’t announce our intentions, but insist on sneaking around, blending into society.

When Apple first opened their computer campus, they hoisted the Jolly Roger instead of any other flag, and when asked why, they answered, “Better to be a pirate than join the navy.” For a budding computer business in the 1970’s, “the navy” meant IBM, but for Christians in the United States, “the navy” is our culture. Christians are called not to conform to the world (Romans 12:2), but so often, we can’t even see the contrast between our culture and Biblical Christianity. Someone even recently asked me why the two must conflict, and sadly, the answer is that, as long as we live in a fallen world, the two will always conflict. When we’ve stopped running contrary to the culture, we’ve lost our direction and need to reverse course!
Pirates, on the other hand, are easily recognized. They act boldly. They’re often likable or even heroic (at least the fictional movie pirates!), and people find them fascinating. Christians, while sometimes feared as a political lobby (Really? Is politics our biggest concern?), are more often seen as boring than adventurous, but why is that? Pirates have been known to face tremendous peril to achieve their goals, taking a stand and fighting to the death. On the high seas, they live on uncomfortable ships and contend with everything from scurvy to being run through with a cutlass. Meanwhile, God has given us the “Sword of the Spirit,” the Bible (Ephesians 6:17), and we tend to leave it in its scabbard. When it comes to storming the gates of hell, we’re more like the Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything than the Pirates of the Caribbean.
The good news is that Jesus already walked the plank for us. We’ve committed crimes against the Crown and deserve to have our necks stretched by a short rope. And even though we’ve mutinied against our Captain, He took our place Himself. In fact, He didn’t just walk the plank–He was nailed to a couple of them. But because He went down to Davy Jones’ Locker for us, we’ve been pardoned and instead rewarded, not with doubloons, but with eternal life.
While the pirate of the movies bears little resemblance to real pirates, both modern and historical, it seems that we can learn something from even fiction about the truth. So to that goal, this entire site, just for today, will “talk like a pirate” to encourage you to do the same. Be bold and send this article to a friend, but do it quickly. This article will disappear at midnight, and Jesus might return even earlier.



Evangelism Moment: Getting the Word Out

Originally written for Shepherd of the Ridge Lutheran Church, apply these ideas to your local context.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve heard a lot of comments that people hope my presence here will somehow bring people back who’ve somehow slipped through the cracks, especially the younger (under 40) generations whom statistically we see less of at any given service.

What won’t work

Having a younger pastor will not suddenly encourage most absent members to suddenly be present. Most of them don’t even know how old I am, and my generation, in many ways, is the “What’s your point?” generation. Why should they care whether I’m young? Is 37 even all that young? What does that mean to them?

Contemporary services are seen by many churches as a panacea for waning attendance and the need for evangelism, but very few people choose to attend or join a church based on its service style. Both traditional and contemporary styles have pros and cons, and usually, people care more about the people in a church than the service. Yes, I plan to experiment with our service format a bit, starting September 9 & 13, but this is more for the benefit of those already here than those outside. Making the service visitor-friendly is mostly about the format of our worship folder, which we’re busy tweaking each week, and we value your input.

What will help

In a town our size, we need to be friendly without smothering. When you see someone you don’t know, go talk to them. Introduce yourself. Ask about their families, especially kids and grandkids. And really listen. Let them know you care without being nosy. If they’re single, ask what they like to do for fun or where they’re from. If they look slightly familiar or you’re not sure whether they’re members or visitors, say, “Hi, I’m ___. I’m drawing a blank on your name–should I know it?”

This is such common sense, but think about how often you’ve invited a friend to church. Offer to take them out for brunch afterward (which will give you a chance to see whether they have questions or comments about the service), and offer to drive if possible.

Leave a review! Our church is listed at the Google Local directory. Go there, and leave a review. Mention how long you’ve been a member and why you attend here or what you like about our congregation. If your kids are in our preschool, leave a review of the preschool at the same place. As that entry gets more reviews, and as we build our website, we will show up higher in searches and be easier to find when people look for a church in the area.

What will work

Remember that our goal is not to increase our service attendance. Yes, that’s a great way to share God’s love and engage souls with God’s Word, but it’s a strategy, not our ultimate goal. Our ultimate goal is more souls saved from hell, and the way that happens is by loving each other, loving those outside the church, and especially loving those we have the most difficulty loving, as they tend to need it the most.

So the key to accomplishing that mission is loving people. But remember that love is more than just a warm feeling. It means doing what you can to help others: body, mind, and soul. It means making personal sacrifices for the well-being of others. It means stepping outside your comfort zone, changing plans, and making the cross and empty tomb the center of everything you do.

Because that’s what Jesus did for us.




Catechism/Confirmation Resources

The Small Catechism, 1991 edition

The Small Catechism, 1991 edition (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

59905-FIELDATTACHEDFILE: Constructing a Church Year Calendar. Beginning with Easter, the student is moved forward and backward, constructing the Church Year calendar in the same way that the church constructed its own. Explains placement of festivals and the colors assigned.

Comprehension Exercises: On these pages, you can find Dale Critchley‘s confirmation resources, which include Comprehension Exercises–worksheets that incorporate the 6 chief parts with Bible context, apologetics training, and mission training. They are a work under construction, but take a look. Also included there are skits and other resources.

Supplemental material for the According to Plan Bible Overview curriculum (From the Lutheran Church of Australia & published by CPH): Includes skits, quizzes, memory work schedule, & lesson plans (Updated Aug 28, 2001) Word 97/98

Secret Service Form (Idea adapted from Faith InkubatorsPDF

Christmas Story Exam (Borrowed from Rev. Keith Jones) PDF

Skits for the whole catechism

The Mustard House Project: a curriculum that uses teaching methods gleaned from Sesame Street. Or go directly to the Resources Page.

Confirmation Sans Hoops: A curriculum designed to help students learn to use Scriptures together or independently with an emphasis on spiritual growth. Note that I only finished 1/2 the catechism with this, but I’m using a variation on this system for 2018/2019 that includes the original and updates including the rest of the catechism.)


Other Sites

Catechesis: Basic Bible Knowledge for the Family: A graded curriculum that includes weekly catechetical bulletin inserts.

Concordia Catechetical Academy: Makers of Lutheran Catechesis and other resources

Scholia.net’s confirmation page




Facebook as Ministry Tool

Facebook logo Español: Logotipo de Facebook Fr...

Concordia Publishing House has a new downloadable resource called Jesus’ Place in MySpace. And while MySpace has been replaced among the under 30 set by Facebook, the principles remain the same, and while I haven’t read the ebook (It likely wouldn’t be anything new for me.), it ties in with a ministry opportunity that entered my inbox a couple weeks ago.

It started with a Facebook invite from one of our members, who happens to be older than me, so I was surprised to see it coming from her, but her daughter just graduated from college and got married, so I’m guessing that had something to do with it.

But as I set up my Facebook profile, I realized that this would be a great way to stay in touch with some of our members, especially those going off to college or even as a day-to-day contact with the locals, especially those in high school.

Now let me make it clear that this is no substitute for more personal contact and can never replace visits and phone calls, but through online social networking sites, I can connect with people on a much more frequent basis than I could otherwise, and I see frequent contact with that age group as crucial, not only because it can be infrequent as other commitments and opportunities present themselves, but also because at that point, more than any other, youth define themselves and determine their priorities. Frequent friendly contact from their pastor can have a great impact that process.

Along those lines, because a church is not just a pastor, I can also see advantages of networking members with each other, so they not only have contact with their pastor, but other sheep from the same flock who can encourage them and remind them of their identity as children of God.




CrossFeed Religious News: The Podcast

CrossFeed Religious News:
The Podcast

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CrossFeed Religious News discusses the news from the former religious news community by the same name. Go post links to interesting news stories, vote on the ones you find interesting and not so much. Then listen to commentary from Dale Critchley from Iowa and Jim Butler from Massachusetts, a couple Lutheran (LCMS) pastors.

The theme music was written by Grant Haavaldsrud.

Note: Podcasts are distributed in mono instead of stereo to make it easier on those with dial-up.

If podcasting sounds threatening to you, or you just don’t want every episode, all episodes will be available for download from this page.

This podcast is about the only way to use LCMSPastor.com safely while you’re
driving! NOTE! You do not need an iPod to listen to podcasts. It’s just the most popular way, and iPods have certain extra features, but you can subscribe via the free iTunes. We recommend iTunes for its simplicity and integration. Or listen with your browser, or burn it to a CD-RW to listen later!

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